TITLE: One Step Ahead AUTHOR: Erin M. Blair E-MAIL: eblair@sonic.net / erinmblair@gmail.com FEEDBACK: Yes, please. DISTRIBUTION: OK to Gossamer, Ephemeral, MSR Fanfic Cheerleaders, Beyond 44:56. RATING: PG CATEGORIES: SRA -- Story, Romance, Angst. KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully UST. SPOILERS: F. Emasculata. Small spoilers for: Duane Barry, Ascension, and One Breath. DISCLAIMER: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully belongs to Chris Carter. SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully deal with the aftermath of the F. Emasculata case and the fear of losing each other. NOTES: This story was written for After the Fact's F. Emasculata challenge. Special thanks to Jen and Lisa for beta reading this fanfic. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + Mulder and Scully were walking down the hallway towards the elevator after leaving Skinner's office. When the elevator door closed, he looked downcast at the floor and then looked up at Scully. He was lost in thought after finding out that the evidence regarding the F. Emasculata virus only led to a postal error. "Mulder, is there something wrong?" He felt frustrated that all they'd gathered was of no use to them once more. "You were right, Scully. This wasn't the time to go public when all we had was nothing. Once again, they're one step ahead of us." "Mulder, we've tried." "Sometimes, I wonder if -" "This obviously wasn't the case to bring the information to the public. We needed more, but the evidence led to another dead end. This wasn't the first time it happened, Mulder, and you know as well as I do that there will be more cases where -" Mulder finished her sentence bitterly. "There will be more cases where the evidence disappears." Scully sighed. "And we've had cases like this before. I know it's frustrating. I feel the same way as you do, but we have to move on because the truth will be known to us eventually." She paused. "I know this case was draining..." "Scully, you could have died for nothing." "Is that why you're upset, Mulder?" He nodded. "Yes. I wouldn't have been able to see you if -" He refused to voice the unthinkable. "I didn't know what I would do if you had died in that prison. I wouldn't have been able to move on." He paused. "When you came back from your abduction, did you know that I almost quit when they were thinking that you wouldn't have survived?" "No, you haven't..." She was shocked because she hadn't known what Mulder must have gone through when she was gone. When the elevator door opened to reveal the basement floor, they walked out silently with every intention to continue this conversation in the safety of their office. "Mulder, you never told me about what you went through when I was gone. I want to know." "Scully, I guess I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to relive it." "Mulder, I can only guess what you have gone through, but I want to know. I know you tried hard to find me." Mulder slumped down in his chair. This was going to be hard for the both of them. "When you were abducted, I couldn't sleep. I had so many vivid nightmares about you. I could see the pain of what they were doing to you. I felt so helpless that I couldn't anything to save you. I didn't want to eat, but Skinner told me that I would be off the case if I didn't take care of myself. There were only leads when you were first was abducted. The trail had gone cold by the time you appeared comatose in that hospital. Everyone around me seemed to lose hope that you would eventually recover. It was truly unbearable. I was the only one who knew you would come back to me." He paused. "I wanted to save you, Scully." "I know you tried, Mulder, because I read the file and Skinner told me. Mom too. I felt you with me when I was in that coma," Scully said as she put her hand on his shoulder. "You were definitely the strength that I needed to get back. I know you're blaming yourself and thinking of all the possibilities, but I don't blame you for anything. I probably would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes." "Scully, you can't fit my shoes," Mulder said smiling. He was trying to infuse some humor into a depressing situation. "I know you would have done the same for me. I know you would feel the same way as I do if the situation was reversed, but it is very frustrating." "I'll remember that. I hope that we will never go through this again, Mulder. I don't know what I'd do if you were abducted." "Hopefully we'll never have to deal with it. I'm hoping the truth will be revealed to us in five years." "Are you all right?" "I'm fine. I guess I needed to air my problems." "Are you sure?" Mulder nodded. "I'm fine - really." He gave her a smile. "You know, Scully?" "What?" "If I get this way again, will you please be there for me?" "I'll be there for you, Mulder," Scully said, as she gave him a hug. "Always." ~*~*~ The End