Title: To Start Again (3/4)
Author: Erin M. Blair
E-Mail: eblair@sonic.net 
Classification: SRA--Story, Romance, Angst
Content: Pre-XF. Mulder/Scully Romance.
Spoilers: Pilot. Small spoilers
for all the episodes up to Season 6.
Archive: OK to archive at: Gossamer,
Church of X, EMXC, Xemplary, and
SEFAMSRN. Others: ask me first. Please 
forward to ATXC. 
Disclaimer: They're not mine.  Chris Carter
owns them. 
Summary: A secret revealed. Selective memory
loss. Can love survive over time? How do you
face the future when your love returns?

-----------------------------------------
TO START AGAIN (3/4)
Written by: Erin M. Blair <eblair@sonic.net>
--------------------------------------------

Mrs. Mulder's Residence
Greenwich, CT
May 7, 1998
5:30 p.m.

 
"Katie?" Mulder inquired, as he watched
his daughter watching a cartoon. He nodded
to Scully who walked up closer to the little
girl. "There's someone that I want you to 
meet."

Katherine looked up from the cartoon, and she
noticed that her father was accompanied by a 
beautiful woman with shoulder-length auburn hair and 
blue eyes which were similar to her own. "Is
this Scully, Daddy?"

Scully gave Mulder a questioning look. "You 
told her about me?"

Mulder drew a deep breath as he looked at Scully
and then at their daughter. "All I told Katie was
that you're my partner who takes great care of me."

Katherine chimed in. "I've been wanting to meet 
you, Agent Scully." 

"Really?" Scully asked as she smiled at her. 

"Yes, really. Daddy talks about you all the time
but he doesn't like to talk about Mommy."

Scully sat down on the chair beside the little
girl, and she watched Mulder and Mrs. Mulder walk
into the kitchen. She knew that he was giving her
the time she needed to bond with her nine year old
daughter. *Mulder's right. She does look like me
at that age.* "How come?"

Katherine's blue eyes widened with worry. "Daddy's
scared."

"Why would he be scared?"

"I don't know," Katherine said as she shrugged her
shoulders. She was getting a little uncomfortable,
but decided to change the subject. She had flashes
of green liquid and a little blonde girl in her
mind's eye as the memory of her father going away 
last Christmas flowed back into her head. "I'm sorry 
about Emily. Daddy told me about how you lost 
your little girl."

"He did?" She saw Katherine nod. "Did he tell you
anything else?"

Katherine wasn't sure if she should tell Agent Scully
everything but she did ask. "He told me how sad you 
were because you...can't...have children. I'm sorry. I
know that it was rude." 

"May I call you Katie?" Scully asked, as the little
girl nodded. She wanted to reassure and gain Katherine's
trust as she gave her a tender hug. "Katie, I accept
your apology but you did nothing wrong. I simply asked
you a question and you answered me." She saw the little
girl frown. "Is there something else?"

"My Mommy," Katherine said as her eyes filled with 
sorrow. "I didn't know much about her, but I don't 
know if she loved me. She'll take care of Emily
and love her."

"I'm sure your Mommy loves you," Scully said as she
watched Mulder sitting down beside her. "She still
does." She saw Katherine looked at her, skeptically,
with the look that she sometimes used on Mulder. 

"Mommy died. How could she still love me?" Katherine
asked as her voice was full of sorrow. 

Scully's heart went out to her little daughter. "Katie, 
she loves you. I know she does."

"No, she doesn't."

Scully looked at Mulder for help getting through to 
her. "Mulder, can I talk to you for a second?"

Mulder nodded. "Excuse us, Katie." He followed Scully 
into the kitchen. "What's wrong, Scully?"

"I don't know how to tell her, Mulder. It was easy to
tell Will and Dani about you because they didn't know
who their father was but Katherine--"

"I know. Katherine thinks her mother's dead," Mulder
interrupted. He took a deep breath. "We have to tell
her gently..."

Scully nodded. "I know." She paused. "I just wish
I knew how to tell her that I'm not dead and
how much I love her. Mulder, she believes that I 
never loved her."

"She knows you love her."

"I wish I could believe that, Mulder." 

"We just have to convince her, that's all," Mulder
said as he saw her eyes downcast. He knew who
she was thinking about. 

San Diego Social Services
San Diego, CA
December 24, 1997

Scully sat at the table, listening intently as
Mulder's recounted to the judge the events of her
abduction. Mulder was there to support her petition 
to adopt the young girl, Emily Sim, who Scully
had determined was her biological child. 

Her face fell when she heard her partner's 
voice. 

"If you do an examination on her, you'll find
out that she's never given birth to any children,"
Mulder said. He knew that he'd lied, but he
knew she hadn't brought forth Emily. He didn't
want to look at her, and had a feeling that Scully
knew he lied. 

With that statement, he killed Scully's right
to be the biological mother of their own daughter,
Katherine. 

Then he looked up at Scully's teary blue eyes 
and knew he'd made a terrible mistake. He watched 
as she quickly walked out of the room, and knew 
he had some explaining and apologizing to do. 

Mrs. Mulder's Residence
Greenwich, CT
May 7, 1998
5:50 p.m. 

"Maybe we shouldn't tell her the truth? After
all, I'm not her mother. Dana was."

With a heavy heart, Mulder knew how upset she
was. He knew that he had to persuade Scully to
finally tell their daughter the truth. "Scully, 
you're Katherine's mother. I was there when you 
gave birth to her." He paused. "I remember how 
happy we were. You're Dana."

"I don't remember being your wife," Scully said 
softly. Her eyes started to well with tears as 
she confided to Mulder her frustration in not 
being able to remember when she was Dana Mulder. "I 
wish to God that I have those memories, but I don't." She 
paused. "Don't you know how hard it was for me not being 
able to remember our marriage? I don't remember even 
becoming pregnant twice, but the evidence is 
there: Katherine, William and Danielle. They're the 
products of our love but I wish I'd remember."

Mulder pulled her close to him, and he stroked her 
auburn hair. "You'll remember. I know you will."

"I hope so, Mulder. It's just so frustrating to
have that part of my life missing and never knowing
if I'll get those memories back." She paused as she noticed
Katherine walking in. "Do you need your daddy for
something?"

Katherine nodded solemnly. Her blue eyes were
misty with unshed tears as she heard them talking
about her. "I need to ask Daddy something."

Scully noticed her daughter was crying, and 
she wondered if Katherine heard the truth. "You 
can say it in front of me."

Katherine took a deep breath. Like her parents,
she had always wanted to know the truth. "Agent Scully,
are you my mommy?"

Scully nodded. She was astounded by Katherine's 
straight forward honesty to get to the point. "Yes, 
I'm your mommy."

"How come Daddy told me that you died?" Katherine
asked as she looked at her parents for the answers.

"He was trying to protect you from getting hurt," Scully 
said with a sigh.

"But why?" the little girl asked, her eyes widened
at her mother. "Why would he keep you a secret?"

"A secret?" Scully inquired with a questioning glance
at Mulder. 

Katherine nodded. "Yes. A secret."

"It wasn't a secret, Katie," Scully said with a 
sigh. "Your father protected you from me because
I was suffering from amnesia."

Mulder nodded. "Katie, I didn't want to cause
you pain."

The little girl considered what her parents were
trying to tell her. Some of it was too confusing
for her, especially the "A" word--amnesia. Her
blue eyes widened questioningly at her
mother and father. "What's amnesia?"

Scully noticed Katherine's questioning look at both
her and Mulder, and decided to explain the term in a 
simple manner. "It means I couldn't remember you or 
your daddy."

"Oh," Katherine said with a frown. "Do you 
remember us now?"

Scully nodded. "It took me such a long time to 
remember you and your father."

"There's something else Katie should know," Mulder
whispered to Scully. "Do you want me to tell her
or should I?"

"I will," Scully said with a whisper. She turned
her attention towards their daughter. She wanted
to tell Katherine about her sister and brother, 
but she was beginning to feel that the little 
girl needed more time to adjust. "I don't 
know, Mulder. The more I think about it---"

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Katie." 

Katherine had one more question. "How come you call
Daddy, 'Mulder'? Daddy told me you used to call him
'Fox.'"

Scully sighed. "I don't know. It's just a name I 
call him, Katherine." A memory seeped into her 
consciousness, and she finally remembered something about
her daughter. "When you were born, your father 
wanted to name you 'Dana'..."

"I did not," Mulder said with a small smile. He
was delighted that she was finally being able to
remember their marriage and their daughter's birth.

Scully gave him a tender smile. "Yes, you did, Fox.
You wanted to name her 'Dana Katherine Mulder' 
because she looks like me."

"Daddy wanted to name me after you, Mommy?" the 
little girl asked.

Scully nodded. "Yes, he did. We would have been
very confused if he had his way. We compromised
though, and I decided to name you, 'Katherine
Dana Mulder.' It fitted perfectly for you."

"I never knew you were the one who named me,"
Katherine said with a sigh. "I always thought 
it was Daddy." She gave her father one of her
mother's patented looks. 

Scully stroked her daughter's auburn hair tenderly
and looked into her cherubic face. "No, Katie, it
was me." She paused. "There's something else I think
you should know."
 
"What?"

"Do you remember when your father and I went to
Martha's Vineyard for vacation?"

"Not really."

"After we drove away from there, we were in a
car accident...and I had selective memory loss.
I was pregnant at the time but I didn't tell 
your father. Katie, you have a sister and a 
brother."

"Two babies?"

Scully smiled. "Yes, they're twins, and they're
not babies anymore. Your sister's name's Danielle 
Melissa and your brother's name is William Fox."

Katherine looked around for the twins. "I don't
see them."

"William and Danielle are with my mother--your
grandmother." She paused, and then spoke in a 
gentle tone. She felt it was too much for her
daughter to comprehend everything she'd told
her. "Katherine, I know it's a shock to learn 
I'm your mother and how you have a sister and 
a brother. Your father and I will do everything
to make everything all right for you." 

"I'm fine, Mommy," Katherine said with a sigh.

Scully heard Katherine using the same phrase 
she used on Mulder and her smile deepened. "You're 
my daughter all right."

"That she is," Mulder said with a smile. "Katie,
are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm all right with it, Daddy. Everything 
seems to happen all at once... First I learn
that Mommy's alive, and then she tells me 
I have a sister and a brother," Katherine said
with a sigh. There were so many details for her 
to absorb, and she wondered how she was going to deal 
with it. She sighed. She gave her parents a hopeful 
smile to show them she's fine. "Is Mommy going 
to move in?"

Mulder didn't know how to answer that question,
and he looked at Scully, who nodded. "I think
so."

Katherine's blue eyes were filled with tears
as she realized her family was complete. She had a 
Mommy and Daddy who love her, and she was going to
meet William and Danielle soon. "Thank you, Daddy."

"What for?"

"For letting Mommy tell me the truth. Now I have
both my Mommy and Daddy here with me..."

Mulder Residence
August 12, 1994
Annapolis, MD 

Katherine walked into the living room, and
she noticed an X-File laying out on the coffee
table. "Daddy, what's this?"

Mulder was reading Scully's X-File, trying to figure 
out where they had taken her, when he heard his daughter's 
voice. "It's an X-File," Mulder explained to Katherine. His 
hazel eyes glistened with tears as he thought how their 
little girl looked so much like Dana. He missed 
Scully--Dana--very much, and he hoped to find her soon.  

"What's an X-File?"

"It's for cases when we don't know what
happened. They give them to me...and I
solve them. At least, I try to find out
the answers."

"Daddy, is this about Agent Scully?" Katherine
asked with curiousity. She watched her father nod
solemnly. "You'll find her."

"I hope so, Katie," Mulder said as he gave her
a hug. "I really hope so."

Northeast Georgetown Medical Center
November 5, 1994

"Daddy, who are we going to meet?" Katherine
asked as they walked towards the cafeteria. She
knew her father wanted to see Scully, but he
still wouldn't allow her to see her. 

"You'll see," Mulder said as he opened the
door to the cafeteria. He saw Melissa Scully
sitting at one of the empty tables, waiting
for them. 

Melissa watched them walking towards her, and
she was moved to see her niece. She remembered
the last time she saw Katherine, the little girl
was only two years old when Dana had lost the 
memory of her daughter and husband. After that, 
Mulder had told her he was cutting off all
ties to the Scully family. Melissa was distraught
when she found out, but she accepted it. "Katherine,"
she said as bent down besides her neice. "I'm your
Aunt Melissa, your mommy's sister." 

"You're my Aunt Melissa?" Katherine inquired. She gazed
at Melissa in wonderment. "Did I ever meet you before?"

Melissa nodded. "The last time I saw you, you were two
years old."

"I don't remember," Katherine said with a sigh. She 
looked up at her father, who sat down at the table. She 
wondered how come Melissa waited so long to meet her 
again. "Aunt Melissa, how come you're here?"

Melissa sighed. She knew Mulder didn't want Katherine to
know the truth so she decided to lie a little. "Your 
father has been waiting for his partner to get out of 
a coma, and he wanted me to take care of you." *It's
true. Dana's his partner. He does want me to take care
of Katie,* Melissa thought as she looked at her 
niece's features. *It's been a long since I'd seen her. She
still looks like Dana. She has the same shoulder-length 
auburn hair, blue eyes, and a creamy complexion as my 
sister does.* 

"Oh," Katherine said with a sigh. "He really missed
her when she was gone."

Mulder nodded. "Katie was my strength when she was
gone. Without her, I'd be lost."

"I'm...glad she's been with you. I missed seeing
Katie."

"I was wondering if you could take care of her for
me while I visit Scully."

Melissa nodded. "It's fine with me. It'll give
us a chance to catch up." She watched Mulder
walk into Dana's hospital room, and then her
attention went to her niece. "Come on, Katie."

"Will Daddy ever be all right?"

"Why would you say that?"

Katherine sighed. "Because."

"Because why?"

"Daddy's been crying at night..."

"I'm sure your daddy's worried, Katie," Melissa
said with a sigh. "He adores his partner so much."

"Does this mean she's going to be my new Mommy?"

"I don't know." 

Melissa and Katherine were both worried about 
the darkness surrounding Mulder and Scully. 

Mulder Residence
Annapolis, MD
May 9, 1998

"Close your eyes, Mommy!" Katherine exclaimed 
excitedly. Katherine gave her father a conspiratorial
smile as they led Scully and the seven year old 
twins to the front steps of their house. "Or it 
wouldn't be a surprise." 

"They're closed, Katie," Scully said with a 
smile. She was happy her family was now reunited,
and she couldn't believe how fulfilled she was. She
felt both Mulder's and Katherine's hands guiding her
to the steps. "Now can I open them?"

"Not yet," Mulder said with a grin. He helped her 
walk up the steps to their house. He opened the 
door, and he led Scully in followed by Katherine,
William, and Danielle. "Scully, *now* you 
can open your eyes."

Scully opened her azure blue eyes and looked
around the surroundings of the house. Her mind
played the memories of bringing little
Katherine home from the hospital, and her eyes
became misty as the memories became rushing 
through of her life as Dana Katherine Mulder.
Mrs. Fox Mulder. She turned around to face
Mulder and their children. "I remember, Mulder.
Fox. I remember it all." She paused. "Everything
came back clearly, Fox." 

"Dana?"

Scully nodded. "Dana." She fingered her wedding
band, and sighed. "We should talk to the lawyer
and tell them we contest the divorce."

"And how are we going to do that?"

"We'll tell the lawyer the truth," Scully said
as she gave Mulder a quick kiss. "I want us to
be married again." 

"Mommy," Danielle ran up to her mother, and
she pulled her creamy white blouse. Like
her older sister, she looked so much like her
mother with her red-gold hair and her blue 
eyes. "You should see the bedrooms." 

"In a minute, Danielle. I'm talking to
your Daddy."

"Mommy, you've got to see this."

Scully's smile deepened. "See what you
put me through, Mulder?"

"We're parents, Scully," Mulder said, as
he placed his hand on her lower back to
guide her through their house. He smiled
as they watched William and Danielle play
with Katherine.  

He never had this feeling of happiness
coming through loud and clear. His wife
and children were all reunited with him, 
and knowing that had brought tears to his
hazel eyes. 

His family was reunited. 

And now Scully was going to contest
their divorce.

Mulder and Scully were going to be 
married once again and they are going
to start again as a family.

"Mulder?" 

He looked over to see their daughter, Danielle,
coming alongside Scully. He saw her smile, and
she said, "Danielle wants her daddy."

"In a minute, Scully."

"Are you all right?" Scully inquired with
concern. She turned to their daughter. "Danielle, 
daddy will you see a bit later, OK?"

"OK," Danielle said as she gave her parents 
a knowing smile. "I'll see you later, Daddy." 
She left them to play with Katherine and William.

"Danielle and William are so happy to know you,
Mulder." She paused. "Are you sure you're all right?
We've been through so many changes later, and I -"

"I've never felt better," Mulder said as they
walked upstairs to their bedroom. He turned 
the knob, and he started to lift her to carry
her across the threshold. "We should do this right."

"Mulder," Scully said with a laugh. "I hope
you don't break your back."

"I won't," Mulder said as he placed her on the bed. 
He heard his cell phone ring and he answered it. 
"Mulder."

"Is Scully there with you?" Skinner asked. "I was
trying to call her before I called you."

"She's with me...and our chil--"

"Your children?" Skinner inquired. "Never mind, Mulder.
We need the both of you in Dallas for a terrorist bombing
at the federal building."

"Today?" 

"The next flight you can get out. Both of you are to 
report to SAC Darius Michaud," Skinner said. 

"I'll tell Scully," Mulder said with a sigh. He 
said his goodbyes to Skinner and then he shut off
the phone. 

Scully looked at Mulder with a frown as she knew
it was probably Skinner informing them of the new
assignment. "Tell me what?"  

"Skinner wants us to go to Dallas to help with the
terrorist division. We'll be under SAC Darius Michaud."

"What about our children?" Scully asked. "We're finally
together as a family, and I don't want to leave them 
behind."

"I know, Scully. I understand, but I know they can 
adjust." He looked into her deep blue eyes, and sighed. 
"Thank goodness for mothers. My mother will take care 
of them. It will give her a chance to see Danielle
and William." He paused. "I hope that's ok with you."

"It's fine with me, Mulder," Scully said, as she got
up from the bed. She watched Mulder open the closet. "I
bet you still have my old clothes in there..." 

Mulder nodded. He turned to face her and gave her
a smile. "I never got rid of your old clothes, Scully. I 
thought you'd need them someday."

Scully looked at the clothes that she never thought she
would ever see again. "I bet." She paused. "Looks like
I don't have to bring more of my clothes over here."

"You could if you want. Your clothing style has changed
over the years."

"Really? How so?"

"Scully, you're so stylish. Ever since your abduction, 
you became so aware of how you look." 

Scully didn't know what to say to Mulder's observation
about herself. "I didn't know you were aware of what
I wear to work every day."

Mulder nodded. "I still very much aware of you." He paused.
"You're beautiful to me. Don't you know that?"

Scully gave him a smile, and packed some of her clothes
from the drawers. "It's nice to hear you say that, Mulder."
She paused. "When are we going to get married?"

"After this case, we'll talk to the lawyers. I want us
to be married, Dana."

"Dana?" 

Mulder nodded. "Dana."

"I guess I can call you 'Fox' - I hope you don't mind."

"That was the most stupidest thing I'd ever - "

Scully interrupted. "Don't worry about it, Mulder."

"Since we're going to see the lawyers, I want to be
known as Fox and Dana...like we used to be. Please?"

"Mulder, I don't know."

"Please think about it. We have a few weeks to 
think through this clearly, but I would like for us 
to start again. I love you and our children so very 
much, and I want us to be a family. Do you want that,
Scully?"

Scully's face was full of emotion as she heard those
touching words from Mulder. For once, she didn't
know what to say. "I want to start again, Mulder."

To be continued
End of Part Three of Four Parts.
(This part is still being written.)

Author's Notes: This story came to me in
a dream, and I thought that it was an
interesting plot to write. It got the juices
flowing again. It was an enormous undertaking
to figure out which episodes to feature in 
the story. 

The most problematic portion of the story
was how Katherine Mulder was going to find
out Dana Scully was her mother, and how I'm
going to capture that scene. I decided to let
Katherine overhear--she's curious--the truth.

As much as I hated Diana Fowley, I wanted
to explore why both Diana and Scully hated
each other's guts. Both of them had their own
reasons to dislike each other.

Special Thanks: 

To Carol G.: For beta reading this story. Your
comments and suggestions really helped the story,
and I appreciate you for taking the time to help
me. 

To the various mailing lists I'm on: FolieADuex, Shippyfanfic,
Anti-Fowley, Arsx, Sefamsrn, ErinMBlairXFFanfic,
AnXFObsession, CADF, and etc. I'm very grateful for your 
support, dedication and encouragement for the past 
several months. This encouragement means so much to 
me. 

To Tanya and Joey: I would like to thank you for your
continued support of my work, and I'm looking forward
to write with the both of you. You're great friends!

To Lisa and Rotem: Thanks for always reading my work and
letting me know you love my stories. It's appreciated and
welcomed. 

Special Dedication: This story is lovingly dedicated to an
online friend, Samantha, who was the list mommy for
the AnXFObsession Mailing List. She died
from a battle of leukemia. She was a very good
fanfic writer as well as a good friend. She supported
me and my stories with great encouragement and care. I'll
miss you, Samantha, and I'll always remember you.

Feedback: I would like to receive
positive, critical feedback so I
can improve. Send to: eblair@sonic.net